Posted by yourdatingdiva in It's Just Lunch- Dating Stories from YDD's Day Job | Comments Off

It’s Just Lunch DC Wants Goldilocks to be Exposed

Today’s IJL dating service reality episode we are reminded of the story of Goldilocks and the 3 bears. Why am I likening these dating stories to a children’s book? Because this is exactly how our clients Jack and John are going about choosing women, just like Goldilocks, with the exception of the perfect bed that is!

Patti told me about two her clients Jack and John. During their feedback, Jack and John discuss in incredible detail, the exact detail of what bothered them about their last date. My last conversation with Jack sounded exactly like this, “Well, her hair was too long and a little too brown and she didn’t laugh, I would like to meet someone whose hair is just a little bit longer and blonder. Also her fingers were too short for me” The next conversation went as such, “Well, Jill’s hair was too long and blond, maybe if you can set me up with someone who is not so blond with hair just a little bit shorter who doesn’t laugh so much. Oh, I almost forgot, if a woman’s hands are that big, I’m going to have to buy a huge ring for it to look like anything on her hand, so let’s save me some money!” Let’s listen in on bits of my conversation with Patti in this video…

If it sounds to you like these guys know exactly what they want, you would be wrong! This type of thought pattern and behavior is actually a defense mechanism. It seems that these clients may have a real fear of rejection. If you are looking for flaws you will find them. But flaws, that we all have, are overlooked of you are truly interested in being with someone? So what’s going on with Jack and John?

In our experience Jack and John have a fear of rejection. Their, “porridge is too hot” attitude forms a barrier around their heart. They will make up any excuse not to be interested in a woman. Showing or feeling interest makes them feel exposed. What they don’t realize is that whether they feel vulnerable or not, exposing themselves opens up they heart to accept love and is the only path to a healthy relationship. Remember why you joined a dating service to begin with, to find love!

Have you ever known someone who had a Goldilocks fear? Someone that used every excuse in the book not to be interested?